It’s nothing but narcissistic word garbage – all of it – and it’s intended to confuse, abuse, and manipulate you. This strikes the perfect balance to get their needs met from multiple people, without many demands on them to be emotionally intimate or to meet other needs of their partner.” -Psychcentral Here are five examples of the most common mind games a Narcissist will use to manipulative their partner. But if you text a narcissist about a problem you’re having, to chat about someone else, or … If they start attacking you and your jokes to bring back the negativity that’s your best signal. (A Reality Check), Narcissistic Partners & the Relationship Agenda, Narcissists, Cell Phones, & My FB Revenge Confession, How to Read a Narcissist (& Turn the Projection Ploy to Your Advantage), Narcissist Manipulation & Neural Linguistic Programing (NLP), Narcissists & the Sport of Seduce & Discard. You will begin to let go of the narcissist in your life. A narcissist uses the cell phone as a tool, a prop…a weapon, in fact…to conduct his evil and bring sadness and especially anxiety upon his victims. What You Need To Know About The First 7 Days Of The Superhuman Upgrade... What Do You Get By Decoding Into Superhuman? He may not respond to you at all, or play games with you via text or email, making you want to pull your hair out. This is their way of controlling the situation and manipulating other people. Watch out for the following mind games they love to play with you and learn the tricks how you can dismantle them and turn them in your favor. Been going on since I was in high school (age 16 ) at time.. 21 now, been trying to avoid this but it’s stuck in my memories for life.. 7 Mind Games Narcissists Play and Always Win. Hoovering is the technique used to suck you into the narcissist’s world of make believe, where you are on board with them being God’s gift to humankind. It isn’t something lacking in you; it is all them. The smear campaign is a paradoxical situation where a victim of emotional abuse is made out to be the villain, and people actually join in with the abuser to attack and discredit the victim. The truth is that narcissists couldn’t care less about you, and their attempts to win your trust are all fabrications that are part of their sick game. Christ for all nations and all people! You must put your foot down, girl! Narcissists also like to “lose” their cell phones just long enough to do whatever it is they need to do behind you back…Did you try to call me? Narcissists and the phone game...#Narcissists #PhoneGame In the hands of the Narcissist - a phone becomes a weapon. Narcissists are experts when it comes to playing The Cell Phone Game. Research shows that the narcissist’s style is Ludus love, and their objective is to enjoy uncommitted pleasure.1 They’re playing a game, and winning is the goal. Don’t be fooled twice. Overall, he’s hard to read, so you’re constantly trying … Text commands or text fighting while you’re both in the house, but in different rooms. Narcissists don’t like people whom they know they can’t manipulate. While watching out for the signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist is helpful, keeping yourself emotionally healthy is the best way to guard yourself. I have survived that 6-month with shocking after effects relationship with an overt somatic malignant narcissist only to be “rescued” mid-stream and spent 3 years care-giving for a best-friend turned lover/fiancee covert inverted histrionic narcissist. Try to make them elaborate objectively on the other side. So when they act like it’s not their fault it’s because you made them think they are innocent. Research shows that narcissists' style is ludus love, and their objective is to enjoy uncommitted pleasure. They may even make you believe they’re angels sent to guide your way. He likes playing games, so he rarely responds right away, or if he does, he will send short, impersonal texts. It’s exhausting dating a narcissist.. On the surface, they’re charming, captivating and make you feel like a million dollars. Show them how they can be better. If this is the case, they need professional therapy. "A brilliant invention for the busy Narcissist on the run." the best. It’s a sick game of cat and mouse that will steal years from your life if you allow it. At some point we have to simply say “That’s enough” and refuse to be … Even then, the odds of reducing their narcissism is limited. Seek not revenge. Only a NARC mom would! “They’re playing a game, and winning is the goal. 10. My ex was a master at The Cell Phone Game and I repeatedly called him on it, prompting him to play the game even harder and with more sinister intent. His MO was to simply vanish while simultaneously letting his cell run out of minutes. Dr. George K. Simon, a psychological expert, described the three main traits of narcissists: they’re good at hiding their violent tendencies, they’re experts at analyzing other people’s personality, and they’re numbed at the suffering of others that they might have caused. See their reaction and change of energy. You will be able to go No Contact and regain your sanity. As what we have stated above, narcissists are con artists who are really good at manipulation. Even without saying a word, let them know they’re not in control. D. Keep off contact. Remember: narcissists, like most humans, have a serious fear of abandonment – and this is true regardless of whether they have another source of narcissistic supply on the hook already. Narcissists are fond of using the Silent... Recognizing the pathological behaviors of the narcissistic personality…. Because you’re already disarmed, it’s now hard for you to make logical decisions. Sorry, I couldn’t find my charger. I suspected as much, now I know for sure. Signs a Narcissist is Playing Mind Games. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while with a narcissist, it can be difficult to leave them because they’ve made themselves the center of your universe. I suspect of my mom on so many levels.. Wow…that is just WRONG of her to do that! RELATED: Women Who Do THESE 9 Things Never Get Played By Men Game #2: Mr. Little to … Other people’s insecurities mask their own. Do not be afraid to speak about their intention and ask them to explain why they pushed your buttons in the first place. Our God is just. Some examples are below. Later, although he vehemently denied the connection, I became convinced that the number of times he cheated was directly related to the number of times he changed cell numbers. I don’t know if he is finished or not at this point but it completely killed my stomach that the phone is off. They show these reasons so you will state that it’s not their fault. But you can take a hint when a person becomes overly negative all of a sudden or uses aggression and negative tone to paint their opinion. Lucky for the N, victims, as a rule, are fairly easy to manipulate most of the time and, therefore, he can usually rely on the absurdity of his own words and actions to go unpunished. It’s more than annoying. Pray about it. Do not ever be fooled…..The Cell Phone Game is always a key component in a narcissist’s  pathological relationship agenda. If you show and reveal some insecurity to them, they will use it to climb higher than you on the social hierarchy. If you text a narcissist saying congratulations, they will likely reply and continue to boast about whatever they did. They’re playing a game, and winning is the goal. And it doesn’t stop there because The Cell Phone Game always has another card to play….Did you call me? It took me a while but as the years passed and I caught on to the Game, I was able to predict his next move simply by watching how he interacted with his cell phone. Truthfully, the multiple phone theory never even occurred to me until I accidentally overheard the narcissist quietly snicker while listening to a talk radio discussion about that very thing. Why do narcissists ignore texts? What an eye opener, this is the first time I have read about the narc and their phone. The Cell Phone Game allows a narcissist to hide behind a nasty text or no text at all. Then even though you may be saying the right things, there’s little chance they reduce their narcissism with just your help. Or the simple request of having him take your child to a sports function ends up in a full blown argument. well its been along time. As Debreceni notes, it is important to stay calm yourself whenever reacting to a narcissist’s provocations through text, phone calls or e-mails because the narcissist is also trying to ensure that they also have you on the record – whether they’re trying to depict you as an unfit parent or a crazy ex (while they’re the ones stalking you), remember to always appear stoic and … The best case scenario is to remain positive. And clearly, when you are on ‘team narc’ you are a veritable font of positive supply. Finding other people to blame is their means of escape. If you’re not too intuitive, you may fail to realize the low energy you will feel around them. How to notice: Look for the credibility in the stories and for the hard facts you can check. Or MAJOR Red Flags. I guess he didn’t pay for more minutes and let it just end. Recognizing a manipulator isn’t easy since they don’t appear harsh or violent. Either way, don’t try to steal the narcissist’s spotlight. For example, the narcissist is lying in bed playing CandyCrush or binge watching Say Yes to the Dress, and texts commands to you. A partner believes so strongly that the narcissist is similar to him or her and believes in the goodness he or she sees, because we would never behave in the deceptive way that will come later. God will heal your heart. I know you know what I mean. Manipulators hate interruptions. In retrospect, I know that this was a narcissistic tactic and a lie and in fact he probably had multiple phones sitting at home (or in the trunk of his car) ringing off the hook. My ex learned this lesson the hard way, giving me the one and only time that I was ever able to bust him red-handed. Sorry, my minutes ran out. The fact that suddenly (and for no apparent reason) I was simply cut off from all contact – sometimes for months – literally crushed my soul to the very core. Face this issue head on to prevent becoming a victim of narcissists. Learn how your comment data is processed. Work on strengthening your emotions because it will keep narcissists at bay. And he loved to say, “I don’t even know why I have a cell phone. yes, I know I was blessed for it to end even with a major explosion and court allegations I survived. Manipulators don’t talk you about themselves. How the Married Narcissist Plays His Victims, A Narcissist Always Returns (The Hoovering), Cheating Narcissists & Why Great Sex with You…, Is the Narcissist Happy Now? But because he is a narcissist, the simple act of communicating seems close to impossible. They won’t like that one bit. You’re the only one that calls me.” Thanks and yeah, right…. Try to twist their negativity into laughter. They’re playing a game, and winning is the goal. During one three year stretch, my ex changed his cell number no less than fifteen times. How to notice: After your emotional outburst, they will relieve you of the stress. Because of their severe soul loss and inability to show any form of empathy, a narcissist will say any lie and go to any extent to get you back under their control. They want to show off how smart they are with the hidden intention of exerting their influence over you. Naked and lying right next to him, I could hear every word she said loud and clear and I flipped. Lazy? Basically, every time you rebel against their accusations, they will make you feel even more inadequate – for bringing up the subject, being crazy, stressing them out, generally pushing them away, and provoking their anger. Hoovers are stuffed with lies and future-fakery and downright bullshit. Do not agree of anything they say just because thy made you feel relieved. They’ll win you over with their charm and wit and cognitive empathy. My married narcissist dumped me constantly. I appreciate your support an understanding as only those who have been victimized by a narcissist or narcopath, male or female, can ever truly empathize. All rights reserved. He had a pay as you go phone to call me from. Oh it is SO true. Manipulators will drive you crazy if you allow them to. If they are manipulators they will get mad because you don’t think they are innocent, if they are normal people they will use your feedback for constructive improvement. If you’re not too careful, they may manipulate you into believing their stories. 7 Mind Games Narcissists Play And Always Win #1 Ping-Pong. In their quest to appear superior, manipulators will provide you with massive information of figures, stats and numbers on things you’re not familiar with. “Go get tacos for dinner.” “Make me eggs in the nest.” “Have the kids do their homework NOW.” The narcissist, like a magician, successfully changes the topic and diverts your attention by pointing the finger at you, and you suddenly find yourself on the defensive end of the conversation stick. Within seconds, he was getting an angry earful from the daughter of the girl he had obviously just cheated on me with. Please do keep me updated on email and know there are still good guys out there who get brutally victimized but hope to recover with our values and loving attitudes intact. Later, when his cell rang, instead of mysteriously ignoring it (like usual), he rolled over in bed and simply answered it, letting his guard down and completely forgetting the rules of the Game. This is what psychologists call the technique of fear and relief, which is a manipulator’s way of preying on your emotions. The Cell Phone Game keeps a narcissist’s many worlds from colliding! Text Messages, Romantic gestures? When he pretended to have no phone, I could never decide which was worse – us having no means of contact at all or him using the only means of contact we did have as an evil weapon. At times, manipulators intentionally act negatively, like speaking in a loud voice or showing ill manners. The Players in the Narcissist’s Game. Having a cell phone and knowing how to “use” it to his advantage allows a motivated narcissist to move seamlessly through life without the stress of multiple worlds colliding. The narcissist can be a master of phony empathy. I just want to scream right now.! Research shows that narcissists' style is ludus love, and their objective is to enjoy uncommitted pleasure. Your role as a player in the narcissistic game is fluid – sometimes, you’ll be the victim who needs to be rescued. He also understands that in a second it could backfire on him. How to notice: Ask them the source of their information and a possible proof. You see, a narcissistic partner succeeds at The Cell Phone Game by mastering all the various strategies by which he can play it and also by streamlining our codependency so that he gets away with it. A false self they believe themselves to be. pursuing then d… Their mask of Perfection, the lie they live. Sadly, in this world filled with materialism, your chances of meeting a manipulator on a day to day basis is big. Hoovering hooks range from the obvious to the truly bizarre. It’s a mind game and the only reason the narcissist continues to come back is to ensure that he still has you right where he wants you- where he can control you. My mom is a covert narcissist and is giving out my number foolishly to people online that I never met before in my life..omg is annoying! Sound familiar? After a two week silence, he had magically reappeared with a new number and ridiculous story in tow and I, of course, took him right to bed for some great make-up sex. Blame shifting is usually a tactic used subsequently to the Topic Switcheroo. Guard your heart. I assume this twisted pathological strategy was to ensure a vaguely recognizable number when he hoovered but all I could envision was a big bag of disposable bat-phones that he simply reached into whenever he needed to cut me off or come back, depending on which bed he was headed to! Copyright © 2021 ZBallard. Narcissists show a wanton disregard for others thoughts, feelings, possessions and desires – and the earliest warning sign is in text messages. A TEXT Message is not a contract, commitment, Keep this in mind and don’t let them get to you. To best test you can make to find out if someone is trying to manipulate you via negativity is to try to remain positive and insert jokes about what they say. Those who counter your gaze don’t hide anything. It makes them feel superior and good about themselves. In a weird sort of way, it was triangulation by cell phone. And although I never could prove this theory, I’m still convinced of it.
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